In terms of mindset, there are broadly two types of people. Those who influence others, and those who are influenced by others.

It’s not a strictly either-or thing, but people for the most part consciously operate from one of the two mindsets. Those with the influencer mindset mostly operate from that mindset, and the same can be said of the latter.

I’m fond of talking in terms of the Winner’s mindset and the Loser’s mindset. I think of the influencer mindset to be the Winner’s mindset and the one of being influenced to be the Loser’s mindset.

Loser’s Frame

Let’s see what the Loser’s mindset looks like. Imagine a frame. A literal rectangular frame in your mind. On the left side of the frame, place an individual. On the right side, place a group of people. The individual to the left is you, and the group of people to the right is the world.

Now place horizontal arrows in the center of the frame originating from the world and pointing towards you. That’s influence. The arrows denote the flow of influence from people in the world to you.

What this frame means is that your happiness, your mood, and the state of your life are determined by the behavior of other people. The actions and behavior of others are influencing you. Look at the arrows in the frame that are going from others to you.

How do you feel right now? And how much of that is because of someone else’s actions? You may be feeling good because you had a nice chat with the woman you like. You may be feeling bad because your boss was unpleasant toward you yesterday at work. In either case, the arrows in the mental frame are originating from the world and point toward you. The flow of influence is from other people to you.

This is a very important visualization. Make sure you get it right and clear in your mind.

The ability to visualize this frame is going to change your mindset.

Boredom

People operating from the Loser’s frame often feel bored when there is no influence flowing in from others. Since their mindset is one of being influenced by others, with a lack of influence they feel empty and bored.

They constantly need engagement from people to feel alive. If the engagement is of the sort they like, they would feel happy and positive. If the engagement is unpleasant, they would feel sad and negative. Their mood is almost always reliant on other people’s actions or behavior.

Reason: They lack the drive.

Winner’s Frame

Now let’s look at the Winner’s mindset. Bring to mind the visualization of the frame, and reverse the direction of those arrows denoting the flow of influence. That’s what the Winner’s frame looks like.

Successful people operate from the Winner’s frame. They have the drive to create something, influence others, and change the world. No matter the extent, they emanate energy.

If you want to be successful in life, you want to operate from the Winner’s frame. You want to be the influencer, not the one who is influenced.

You shouldn’t feel bad about how someone acts in their life or behaves toward you. When you see that kind of influence coming over you, call to mind the frame and reverse the direction of the arrows.

Correct the frame in your visualization.

How you react in the situation will influence the people around you. You want to be the source of influence and always remain mindful of the fact that you are the source. You affect people’s minds through your actions and words. Your behavior should not be as if you are affected.

Switching Frames

Switching from the Loser’s frame to the Winner’s frame has a precondition. You must be self-driven to be able to operate from the Winner’s frame. Being self-driven means having personal goals and the path to achieving them. And making gradual but constant progress on that path.

When you’re making constant progress toward your goals, day on day, you won’t have the time to sit and interpret other people’s behavior. You will have the choice to absorb any positive influence that flows to you and shrug off any negative influence.

You will emanate energy. The influence will flow from you to the people who have you in their frame. You will be the source of influence that spreads to the world around you.

Keep this frame in front of your mind’s eyes all the time. From time to time you may default to the Loser’s frame, but the moment you realize the frame has switched, correct it by reversing the arrows of influence in your visualization.

You are the influencer, not the influenced.