When things go wrong—whether it’s within a family, society, or even the world—it’s always the man’s fault. But for this post, let’s focus specifically on family dynamics, particularly the relationship between a man and a woman. When something goes wrong in that dynamic, it’s the man’s responsibility.
Accountability in Relationships
A man should never blame a woman. If he does, he shows he doesn’t understand women, nor is he mature enough to be in a relationship. Women cannot be blamed, and the moment a man starts pointing fingers at a woman for his misery, suffering, or failure, he is failing in his role.
If your woman cheats, that’s your fault. If she disrespects you, that’s your fault. If she misbehaves, again, it’s on you. This is a hard truth to accept, and most men never reach the maturity to understand this. Ninety percent of men fail to grasp that as a man, you are accountable for everything that goes wrong in your life, especially in your relationships.
I posted a short video on Instagram and YouTube explaining this perspective, and many people accused me of “simping” or placing women on a pedestal. They argued that women can obviously be at fault, for example, when they cheat. But the point I’m making is deeper than that.
The Nuance
When I say a man should never blame a woman, I mean that in the moments when you face yourself in the mirror, you should hold yourself accountable. You can’t justify your misery by blaming the woman in your life.
This doesn’t mean that a woman gets a free pass to do whatever she wants. If my woman disrespects me, cheats on me, or behaves badly, I will leave her. But even then, I won’t look at myself in the mirror and say, “My life is worse because of her.” Instead, I’ll take responsibility. Either I chose the wrong partner, failed to earn her respect, or did something to lose her trust.
Yes, on a transactional level, one party may be wrong. But when I say it’s always the man’s fault, I’m looking beyond the transaction. If a woman cheats or behaves poorly, it’s still the man’s fault for choosing to be in that situation or allowing it to happen.
A New Perspective
I often say that men should treat women like children—not to belittle women, but to illustrate the point of responsibility. If a child breaks something valuable in your home, do you blame the child? Or do you recognize that it was your fault for leaving something breakable within the child’s reach?
You’ll discipline the child, yes, but you’ll ultimately hold yourself accountable. Similarly, if a woman disrespects or cheats, you should call her out and hold her accountable. But at the higher level, as a man, you must own your role in allowing that situation to occur.
In conclusion, while you may discipline or even leave a woman who wrongs you, in the grand scheme of things, as a man, you are responsible for your fate. You cannot excuse your lack of action or misjudgments by blaming her.
As a man, you own 100% of your life. Does that make sense?